I don’t have anything worthwhile to say about Jesus Christ. I won’t tell you he’s real or that he isn’t, and I have no judgment for people one way or the other. But I’m happy so many people think he is the center of the universe because it has given us a lovely time of year.
Recently, I’ve been making a lot of videos and fewer articles. It’s partly because videos are an opportunity to be a little funnier, but it’s partly because I have wanted to slow down a little. I have a lot of writing projects going on right now, and I kind of want to be around the kids a bit more while I’ve got the time.
I love them, and I love Christmas. As I have spent more time working on more personal things, attempting to be more in touch with myself, and growing, I find there is much more to be thankful for. And the stretch of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas has just been pushing me very hard to remember this.
When I was out in Portland with CPI, I wanted to be there longer, but I also wanted/needed to be back home for my kids. The CPI folks are incredible people, and I miss them after seeing them for such a short time. I am thankful for my involvement with them.
I am even more thankful for my family. My parents, my kids. I am thankful for my job and the fact I am no longer in a hole financially, and I am thankful for the friends I have. In a conversation with my mom, I talked about how I don’t really look back on high school with fondness, and I spent a lot of the last decade in a marriage that didn’t work. Until recently, I haven’t had much time in my life that I feel is worth nostalgia and sentimentality.
Allowing oneself to feel one’s feelings is difficult. I told some folks recently that I love talking about stuff I know everything about, but I don’t like talking about myself. To be an “expert” puts one in control of the situation and keeps one safe from vulnerability. While I’m not just going to blast the internet with my personal shit, I have gotten to a place where it’s okay to sit with it.
It is the best time of year for reflection, and I have tons to be thankful for. I don’t know if any of this means anything to you, dear reader, but I hope your Christmas is lovely.
-P
Peter, I discovered your work in 2020 and it had a direct impact on my life, helping me understand the chaos out there and making my own peace with it as well. You have much to be proud of beyond all the public creative work you’ve done as well as your own private, personal victories. Good tidings from my home to yours.
This was an awesome piece of writing. I like both your writing about society AND your more personal stuff like this.